At This Moment / November

7:49 AM

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Really, October flew by so quickly and I didn't even notice Thanksgiving is coming. I love Thanksgiving, it's a day of gratitude. Of course, gatherings and turkey. Sadly I'm not in staying in America, no one in my country celebrates it. I mean, Thanksgiving Day is really dedicated to them, but I do enjoy reading any Thanksgiving related topics online. Many recipes for Thanksgiving are on Tumblr and I love it.

Thanksgiving is coming, so is Christmas. I don't celebrate my Chinese New Year much, but I always get very excited for Christmas. I love how people are getting excited about Christmas. Because we don't celebrate Thanksgivings here, we usually bring the Christmas mood forward. Starbucks have already introduced Christmas season drinks quite a while back.

To think that most of 2014 has gone by so quickly, it got me thinking what did I really achieve for the entire year. Did I make full use of 2014? What have I learned? 

I realized that I have been buried at work so much that I barely have time for self healing. Being twenty is weird. I'm not legal but I am being like an adult. My mom said I have matured quite a lot. Maybe it's the way I speak, or the way I handle situations. 

But there are other aspects to an adulthood that are as important as maturity. I'm talking about 'seeking and defining yourself'. I honestly don't know who I really am and I'm still trying to figure it out. I've been reading a number of self-help blogs and columns; I know by simply reading it isn't going to help me. By kicking away bad habit of neglecting my health, both physically and mentally, and really start to actively understanding myself. 

At This Moment / November

Listening to:
I'm still loving the songs I liked last month, but I have a few more to add on. Christina Novelli - Concrete Angel, Alt-J - Hunger Of The PineNina Nesbitt - The Hardest PartCary Brothers - BelongJamie Scott - Unbreakable, Ed Sheeran - Thinking Out Loud, Sam Smith - 'm Not The Only One, Taylor Swift - Blank Space, Out Of The Woods, and Gabrielle Aplin - The Power of Love.

Watching:
Sword Art Online Season 2, waiting for a 20 minutes episode a week kills but it's not as deadly as waiting for The Vampire Diaries, The Originals and Supernatural. I was introduced to some series, but I haven't find time to start on them yet. If they are good, I'll share them next month. I need to really find time to catch up with my Pretty Little Liars too.

Supernatural hits 200th episode milestone, and honestly I think the writers are very kind to dedicate one entire episode to the fans. However, the reactions from watchers were very far stretch. Some of them love it, some of them hate it. I think the episode suck if they are not into fan fiction. Anyways, I realized that annoyed face Jensen made when he broke the 4th wall was not scripted. I guess he really don't like Dean/Cas shipping. 

Reading:
I have been reading blogs and my personal favorite is Marc and Angel hack life as they share a lot of useful advice and they are really very inspiring. I like to read Michelle Phan personal blog, where she shares useful tips and tricks on beauty care.

Planning:
There are so many plans going on right now. I'm doing a list of cafes I have been, and the ones I wanted to try. It's good to do some tracking, and it's better to do reviews here too. Ain't it exciting? I'm planning to post more photos in my little space here too. But the time spend on editing photos is too long. Oh, I am also planning a few overseas trip for next year. There goes my college fees. Then again, they say to live, we must experience. Gain some life knowledge and be more street smart before heading back to get a degree. I still haven't got a clue which course to take, any suggestions? I really took my time to think. but I want to jump back to being a student before I totally become a office lady. 

Enjoying:
Honestly, I don't think I'm enjoying any moment right now. I spend way too much time working during the weekdays, barely any time left to regain my energy. As an introvert, I really need my little bubble to recharge, but usually when I get home, my mom wants to talk to me or be in the same room as me. I think I want my space a little bigger. As least a room to myself. I enjoy being alone, be it reading a book or surfing the net. And my schedule over the weekends are fully booked, which leaves me no personal time at all. I spent a lot of my Sundays accompany my sister at the salon this month, wasted trip on salon and cafe hunting. I feel so exhausted. I appreciate personal space and quiet moments. I'd die every morning as I wake up for work because I wasn't fully recharge the night before. What a vicious cycle.

Feeling:
Similar to October, I feel quite detached from my emotions. But it only get worse. I feel quite negative lately, feeling fatigue and depressed. I get the nervous churning in my stomach when negative thoughts filled up my mind. I hope this feeling would back off soon. I'm feeling very stressed out as well. My colleague has been asking me which course I am taking for my degree and I really don't have an answer. She kept telling me to hurry up, which makes me more anxious. Planning for my overseas trip stressed me out as well. I have always wanted to go overseas, but suddenly that craving to explore the world died. I don't have the feeling to go overseas anymore. But I know I promised to go, and I will go. But that feeling and the excitement are gone.  

Wanting:
My urge to shop is getting very strong. I think it has a connection with the negative feelings I am having. I just want to shop and purchase a lot of things to cheer myself up. I read a few blogs and the writers shared similar experiences, saying that the happiness is only temporary. That's why I've been restraining myself from shopping, just in case I go nuts and spend too much. I really need money for my overseas trips and college, badly. 

What I really want right now, is to get back my healthy state of mind; to be happy and live at the present day. I think I'm worrying too much about my future, and still couldn't let go of a certain past. 


Do share with me what you have been up to, I'd love to read them. I was thinking of adding a few more sections to it, do you think it would be too long? 

I must say November have not been too kind to me, but we will all get over it. Time will help us get over it.



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6 comments

  1. Thanksgiving, Xmas, and New Years are super popular here, and I always wonder if people that don't live here are aware of it. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the holidays here in the states. Hoping the end of November prove to be much kinder :).

    Kreyola Jounerys | Instagram

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    Replies
    1. Cool, I should visit your area during the holidays. We usually only celebrate Xmas here, not so much of Thanksgiving. Thank you! :)

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  2. I recently came across your blog and have been reading along.
    I thought I would leave my first comment. I don’t know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading.Nice blog,I will keep visiting this blog very often.

    Beautician course .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! I like your blogpost on makeup tricks and face shapes :)

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  3. Thanks for your lovely comment on my blog! November came and went so quickly! xx

    http://reallyliteral.blogspot.com

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