NO means NO

by - 9:05 AM

Hey y'all. I'm finally back and writing with my new laptop. Yes I am still trying to get used to the keyboard and shit. I much prefer those old school keyboards where you could type very loudly and annoy the shit out of everyone else in the room. Also throwback to those days whereby you could flip your keyboard over and find extra ingredients like dirt and leftover bread crumbs and shit. 

Anyways, this post is simply just a rant. It's not gonna have a lot of photos like my other posts, so if that does not interest you then it's too bad. But I guess it's something I hope everyone reads and understands it. 

As some of y'all may know, Carter and Maggie have this 'leaked' video awhile back. They seemed intoxicated, and Carter wanted Maggie to do some shit to his penis and shit. Not gonna get into details, you can always find that video all over Internet. 

I just find it ridiculous that some people don't understand that when a person is uncomfortable or don't want to do something that they should stop it. I know a lot of people were angry at Carter and that Carter did apologized on his Twitter, but he continued to favorite some tweets that clearly showed he have not learned from his mistake. 

There were people talking about how Carter ended up not raping Maggie so it was nothing biggie that one should get too angry about. How about no? It does not take RAPE to get people to speak out. Why must people go to the extreme before saying something? If it's not rape it means what he did was right? Fuck no. Yes, he did not shove his dick to her hand or face, but it does not mean he was right too.

Yes Carter just said "Come on Maggie" and "Do it do it". BUT Maggie did said she was uncomfortable when his dick was out. He should just keep his dick back in. Instead of respecting his girl and understand her decision, he added unnecessary pressure onto her. She did not want that, clearly. I mean yes she did said she wants his dick out, but later changed her mind. If he listened to her and took his dick out, maybe he should put it back in since she was clearly feeling uncomfortable about it. 

When people talk about sexual harassment and sexual assault,  like rape and stuff, they always say one should always say NO means NO. So many people have this misconception that when the girl (or guy) did not state out clearly "NO", that means she (he) wanted it. 

That's just FUCKED UP. 

"NO" is NOT the only way of saying you do not want certain things. Maggie already said it make her so uncomfortable, TWICE & I don't think I can, TWICE. If you ever search that video, you could easily tell her face expression that she was not keen in whatever he wanted her to do. 

I just want people to know that NO is not often said directly as NO. There are many ways to saying no. Like when someone expresses his or her feelings/ thoughts, facial expressions and body language. I think people need to fucking learn how to proper read all of these. Even if you suck at, let's say, understanding the meaning of what she/ he just said, you can easily tell from the facial expression and body language. Don't tell me you don't understand all these.

The thing is people do understand. They do. It's just that they have this mindset that it is okay for them to do it. They think it has not escalated to rape or anything they deem too serious so it is fine to do it. NO, it is NOT okay. 

For Maggie's case we don't know if she meant she was uncomfortable with camera on or just sexual act in general, but the thing was that she did said NO. 

After the leaked videos there were many people talking about how Carter was not at fault, or it was not even rape or anything serious, I think it was utter bullshit. 

It only made it worse when Carter favorite the tweets, it only showed he had not learn anything from this incident. 

"Forcing somebody to do something is about being persistent after they already stated that they don't want to or that they are not interested or that they are uncomfortable. It can be the tone of someone's voice, it can be body language, it can be eye contact, there are so many things, as long as they keep pressuring in you after you said no, that IS FORCING." 

If somebody said no but he/ she did it in a polite tone, it does not mean you can do it. Oh do you want them to scream at you or cry out loud just so you can understand that you are forcing them to do things they don't want to? 

It seems like everyone talks about peer pressure and how important it is to not succumb to it. Like saying no to cigarettes if you do not want to. Or even staying out late or skipping school to look cool.

BUT no one talks about being pressure to do things you do not want to do in sexual contexts.

"But Carter did not rape her!" - is no excuse to force someone to do something they don't want to. Respect your partner. 

He was pressuring her into it, nagging her into saying yes is not the right way to get consent, and these days people have different context of what giving consent means. I just think people can take this seriously and not think it is okay or it is not severe enough to care. 

I'm just going to embrace the fact that many Carter fans may hate me for saying all these. But I don't care about fangirls overprotecting their idol. 

And if you are too lazy to read all that I have written, maybe you can just watch this video from one of my favorite YouTuber, Kingsley. 

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