At This Moment | January

9:45 PM


At This Moment | January

So 2016 has not really been that nice to me at all. I started my first day crying and I thought I was just being emotional on that day, but after reading the zodiac for 2016 I’ve gotten nothing but depress. I visited my temple and checked my zodiac reading, and I thought maybe I just cross references with other zodiac readings written by other masters that would make me feel better. But I was so wrong. I visited Popular and there they sell a lot of these zodiac books. Somehow all of them were about the same, talking about it may just be one of the worse years I will ever encounter. That really didn’t help lighten my heavy heart at all. 

Spot on, the readings mentioned that my health wouldn’t be as great and some old issues would return. I already see my gastric returning before Chinese New Year. I’m so done with 2016 already. 

Let’s just start off by listing out some really shitty stuff that occurred this January (and some late December). I was invited for a food tasting event but was late thanks to jam on the road and some other small incident, then when I reached everyone already finished the food. The ladies were nice as they giggled and offered the leftover melted food and lipstick stained drinks. I was quite nonchalant about it but was annoyed that I wasted my trip. I forgot to bring my work uniform that day as well, and I got to rush back home to grab it which caused me to be late for 30 minutes. That also resulted in one of the full timers thinking I was late for 1 hour and 30 mins, I honestly don’t know where that 1 hour came from. Of course I ended up not writing for the food because I did not enjoy any bit of that and I did not have any photos to post although I was promised by the girls that they would send over group chat but did not. 

I was feeling super depressed lately and some days I couldn’t get out of bed. Not the pig and laziness kind of days, but the days where you just don’t see a point in anything and everything just feel so bad. I was so affected by it I ended up skipping my favorite pole class. It was worse because I was already there but was 10 mins late and I got so depressed that I was late that I just couldn’t bring myself to attend it. 

Recently I just recontracted with my telco and I was so disappointed because someone got mad at me and I was so affected by the emotions and I was already feeling super depressed and as such I could almost save $100 on the recontract but ended up did not. I was so upset about it because I’m seriously broke and with my mood so bad and my bank so empty it just simply does not make me feel any better.

Relating to work, just few days ago I was working morning shift and was supposed to have pole class that evening. However, because of some twat who decided to abandon her shift like an irresponsible twat, I have to skip my pole, again. I got so upset because I was already feeling unwell and I just want to spend an hour in my happy studio but no, I get shit like this. I ended up having to cover her shift for FULL day. I’m so annoyed because that was not the first time she decided to skip work like an irresponsible brat.

I get it that if one is unwell and report in sick a day or few hours before their shift. But her shift was at 1030 AM and she just texted the full timer at 12 plus in the afternoon. Obviously if you didn’t come before 11 AM it means you wouldn’t be coming. Logic, duh. I feel this strong anger in me because I was sick and still needed to cover her shit. If she ever do that again and I get any direct or indirect implications, I swear I will just be super vocal about it to my boss. I don’t understand how someone could be this irresponsible. If I were to call in sick, I would wake up earlier that day to inform that so they could find a cover for my place. 

So far that’s it. Two more days till February, I have enough of bullshit.

Listening
Most songs from Selena Gomez Revival album. I swear she is picking herself up without Bieber. I’m not too sure if I like her album more or Purpose. Justin Bieber’s Purpose album has quite a number of decent catchy music as well. Perfect by One Direction is cute too. Play date by Melanie Martinez is one of my favorite from her Cry Baby album. I really like Melanie, she’s so underrated though. Her Cry Baby album got to be one of my favourite. All the songs has the sweet side and a dark side. They have playful music but dark lyrics if you understand what she means. 

Planning:
To enroll in university, find a full time job and trying to figure out how to balance my life with personal time and space for myself. 

Learning:
My pole routine is using Good for You by Selena Gomez, I hope I can do all the tricks soon. 

Wanting:
Personal space and time to recover from all the negative energy I have been taking nonstop since last October. A full time office job that I can write for my resume before I head back to school. More ideas and more photoshoots for my blog as well.  

Love,
Angelus

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