At This Moment | July

6:43 AM


Hey guys, I know this has been the longest hiatus since I returned to blogging. In fact I have been missing from a lot of social media platforms as well. I just wasn't into sharing much information online and I was happy and busy offline. I was working my ass off, I was involved with BFF outings and going on dates. I'm more active on Snapchat, but sometimes I get off the radar entirely. Ever since I went through a big change in 2013/2014, I realized it was better to keep my private life private. A lot of people online are just curious and dramas are tiring. So far it has been good to me, I try to keep it together. Even if I were to post my rant to social media, I'd change my settings and tag the people involved. It's not throwing shade when I hand you the shoes. 

It wasn't all happy these past months. I have been struggling with my finances, hence my reason for this long hiatus. Blogging just wasn't earning much for me, in fact, I barely earn any. For small time bloggers like me, most media would approach you for reviews and provide exposure and product samples- that's your earning. I ain't complaining, but I know I need to handle this financial issue, so I went to find full time job. It wasn't easy finding job, and I faced a super bad experience two months ago. I'll write about it soon, I promise. That post requires me to read again and again, just to make sure I don't get myself into trouble/ law suit what not. 

Since I was facing financial issues, there are many things I couldn't do. I have to give up pole for months (till now) because I didn't have the money for the classes. Exercise keeps me sane and makes me feel much happier about my life. It helps with keeping me from falling back to being depressed all the time. Plus I'm a super lazy and unmotivated person, I can never do it on my own without joining a class. I can feel that I'm falling in and out of the depressing zone these past months. My sister is not joining me for pole anymore as well, means I gotta socialize and make friends. Gosh. 

Not only that, I spend most of my money mainly on food. I hardly shop and tried to stay at home when I wasn't working. But my mom don't cook for me anymore because it's hard to cook for a house of two. Usually she will cook for herself and asks me to deal with it myself. Some days I will just skip it, but most days I will meet G for meals. Like today, I wanted to stay home and my mom didn't cook. But I was so hungry I ended up spending money on delivery because Compass is under renovation. You can be like me and get your favorite food at your doorstep with FoodPanda. You can get 30% off all orders if you use it with SavingMart.SG. They provide more than just food delivery, you can get Groupon food and dining deals as well. 

Listening:
Dangerous Woman album by Ariana Grande, Say You Love Me by Jessie Ware, Only Love Can Hurt Like This by Paloma Faith, You Don't Own Me - Grace, Superstar (feat. Krewella) by Pegboard Nerds & NIGHTMRE, In My Blood by The Veronicas, You Ruin Me by The Veronicas, Secret Love Song by Little Mix, and Sound of Your Heart by Shawn Hook

Planning:
I know I wrote planning to enroll to an university, find a full time job and figure out a balance in my life in Jan. I am happy to say I have done both of those. I'm currently studying in RMIT now and I did find a full time job before I enter university. 

My current plans would mostly be on finding a part time job, preferably desk-bound job so I can study as well. Plan to enroll myself in Pole class again, and this time it will take more determination than before because I will be all alone. Also, I plan to START A PLAN. A study plan, if possible. Now that I return to school, I need to be find new motivation and so far it has been none. I haven't make new friends and there are two weird nerds in my lectures... I was creeped out honestly. One of them did stared intensively at me when I asked the lecturer question during break time.

Learning:
I don't know what kind of good idea I have to enroll myself in accounts but yeah, wish me luck. I need a lot of those for 1.5 years.

Wanting:
Leather jacket, but I told my friends to get me that for my 23rd birthday. Let's see if by next year if I still want it or not. Motivation, because clearly I don't have any. I dragged days to write this post, and I actually plan to study today. You can say I do not want to do that, hence I'm here. 

Alright, better get my ass back to somewhere else I guess.

Love,
Angelus

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2 comments

  1. Hey Angelus, sorry to hear about all those troubles, I do not quite understand how cooking for 2 can be difficult given you just double the original portion. I am not sure what you intent to study, accounts? As in accounting? I would recommend it or anything STEM. I mostly stay at home so I completely get you there.

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    Replies
    1. Hi Sophie,
      I don't understand too. But since my mom is the one doing the cooking, and she give me that reason I will just accept it. She said she was used to cooking for 5 people. My family was big but now it's just me and my mom.

      I've enrolled into an accounting school, thanks for recommending though! :)

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